Practical Ways To Help Moms Calm The Chaos In Their Homes
If your kids are driving you crazy and you need some tips to calm yourself, you’re not alone in your feelings.
It happens to all parents at one time or another. Just like your spouse or friend can drive you crazy, so too can your kids. That’s just how relationships go at times!
I’d love to share some go-to tips if you’re finding yourself lacking patience or you’re feeling like locking yourself in the bathroom.
Hopefully after you read these tips, you’ll feel a bit more relaxed and able to handle stressful moments with your sweet ones.
You got this Mama!
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What To Do When Your Kids Are Driving You Crazy!
Read The Room
If your kids are driving you crazy, my first tip is to read the room.
By that I mean, survey the situation, and get a feel for exactly what is happening or causing the stress.
You can ask these types of questions:
- What is happening here?
- Is there anything I could do to help the situation?
- Is the issue with me or is it my child?
- How might my child be feeling right now?
- Is my child acting out because they need something from me?
Reading the room allows you to assess the situation before you might respond emotionally or say something hurtful.
This is also something you do without speaking or having any interaction with your children. You do it on your own, in your head, with no words.
Once you’ve read the room, then you can decide whether or not you need to say or do anything at all.
This is a great tool!
Another tip for when your kids are pushing your buttons is to listen up!
Listen to what’s going on in your home and with your kids.
I’ve found that at times Addie will appear to “interrupt” what I’m doing only because she’s been trying to get my attention and I’m on my phone or busy with something else.
She’s vying for my attention however she knows how.
Sometimes the craziness can be avoided if we, as moms, would make a concerted effort to really listen to our kids.
I’m not talking about fake listening where you’re scrolling through your phone or reading a magazine while saying, “Yeah, uh-huh, right” to your kids.
Definitely not listening!
I’m talking about active listening, making eye contact with your child, interacting with what they’re saying, and showing them that you care about what they’re saying.
I’ve confessed to doing this in a previous article, but a bathroom break is one of my favorite parenting hacks.
Honestly, there are days when it feels like there is zero alone time for moms. Every minute is shared with our children.
Mama needs a break!
If things are chaotic and you need a hot minute, take a bathroom break.
Say, “Mommy’s gotta use the bathroom. I’ll be out in a few minutes!”
Even if you don’t have to go, you can just sit in there and take a break. Sometimes I check Facebook (guilty) or use that time to respond to a few text messages.
Whatever you do in there, enjoy those precious few minutes in a locked room. I’ve done this many times.
This is a great thing to do once your husband comes home, as well as during family gatherings.
Bathroom Break for the win!
Change It Up
If you’re experiencing a day where you feel stuck in the monotony of parenting, do yourself a favor and change it up!
Need some ideas? Visit the busytoddler site. Susie has amazing ideas that keep little ones busy, active, and having fun! Her activities are a great way to change things up!
Here are some great ideas that require very little prep and are great hands-on activities for your kids!
- Car wash station (with toy cars)
- Butcher paper art
- Make a car track
- Paint the toys
- Sensory bins
- Fun with ice cubes!
- Outdoor sticker line up
- Rescue the pups
Most of these activities can be done with materials you have around your house: cardboard boxes, plastic bins, painters tape, art supplies, sponges, etc. Seriously there are so many fun ideas!
If your kids are engaged and having fun, they are less likely to drive you crazy. Better yet, you may enjoy the time with them!
If Your Kids Are Driving You Crazy, Snag Some More Tools!
I got this genius idea from my friend Morgan.
Power play means 20-30 minutes of focused play with your kids.
They choose the activity, and you engage with whatever that is for the allotted time.
In a sense, you’re filling their bucket. Some may call it fueling their tank.
It’s kind of like a trade-off.
Here’s an example with Addie:
Addie: “Mommy, will you play this game with me?”
Me: “Let’s see. How about we make a deal?”
Addie: “A deal?”
Me: “Yes. I’ll play a game with you for half an hour, then after that, you can read for 30 minutes and I’ll work on my blog for 30 minutes. How does that sound?”
Addie: “Sounds good, I’ll go get the game!”
Now if you have 2 and 3 year-olds, you obviously can’t expect them to read for 30 minutes.
Power play is still effective with really little ones.
Give them the gift of time. Even if it doesn’t get rid of all the craziness, you are making a lifelong investment in those relationships!
Screen time is not completely evil in my opinion.
Sometimes we could all benefit from stopping everything, and putting on a movie.
If all chaos has broken loose, your kids keep fighting and bothering each other, just stop and put on a movie.
Lay out some blankets in the living room, put the movie on, and hand out some snacks.
Whether you’re completely engaged in the movie or not, enjoy this small break in the day with your kids.
Screen time and movie breaks have been very helpful for me in bringing the stress level down some days.
If Your Child Is Pushing You Over The Edge, What Else Can You Do?
Take It Outside
Have you ever been in one of those moments where you think I just need some fresh air?
Getting fresh air, being up and active, and letting your body move is so healthy for you both physically and mentally.
It’s good for your kids too!
If your kids are driving you crazy, here are some easy ways to take it outside:
- Play in the backyard
- Set up the water table
- Go to a park
- Walk in the neighborhood
- Play hopscotch
- Ride bikes
- Play with chalk
None of these activities are difficult to pull off, it’s just a matter of doing them with your kids.
Fresh air and time outside (weather permitting) will benefit everyone, including you!
Reframe The Situation
Another helpful tip for when your kids are driving you crazy is to attempt to be the adult and reframe the situation.
Perspective is HUGE in life, and it can be one of our most powerful tools as parents!
Use these words or thoughts to help you see the glass more half-full and shift your perspective in a healthier way:
- Maybe he needs my attention, vs He just wants to annoy me!
- I get to spend time with my children, vs I have to be with my children.
- So much fun is being had right now, vs This place is a disaster!
- This time will go by so fast I really want to enjoy it, vs I’m so ready for this phase of life to be over.
- There’s always something new to learn in parenting vs I’m failing my kids all the time.
A healthy perspective can help to channel your energy and emotions in the right way.
Take the time to shift your mindset and reframe the chaos, and hopefully it will help you with more patience and grace towards your kids.
The last tip if you’re feeling super overwhelmed as a mom is to practice some deep breathing.
You can start at 100 and count backwards to 1, taking focused, concentrated breaths as you go.
I’ve even heard people advising to put one hand on your stomach or one hand on your head to help as you breathe.
Close your eyes and count, recite Scripture in your mind, pray, or just focus on the counting and breathing.
However you do it, take a few minutes to calm yourself down and hit the reset button.
One time I was feeling super overwhelmed, and I felt the tears coming.
I went downstairs to the laundry room, laid my head down on the washer, and took some time to breathe in and out.
I attempted to reframe my thoughts, work through some yuck that was swirling around in my mind, and hit the reset button.
You know what?
My problems didn’t magically disappear, but I felt so much better mentally.
I gave myself a break and it turned out to work in my favor.
Sometimes that’s all it takes, a quick 2-3 minute mental reset.
Whatever you need to do, take care of yourself. Hit the reset button with some deep breathing or prayer, and engage with your kids again, this time from a healthier mindset.
Deep breathing for the win!
Is It Normal To Get Angry At Your Child?
I think this is an important thing to address before concluding this article.
It’s definitely normal to feel irritated, angry, or frustrated with your child.
This tiny person that you’re parenting means the world to you, and you don’t even have enough words to describe how much you love them.
In the same breath, there are things that can happen or behaviors they can display that can push you over the edge.
Very polarizing feelings!
Don’t beat yourself up if you’re irritated with your children.
But don’t let yourself stay in that place. Deal with the irritation, apologize to your kids if necessary, and move on.
Remember, parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress.
There are plenty of opportunities to make progress in your journey as a parent. Celebrate when you do!
Now That’s A Wrap!
You made it all the way through, I’m so impressed!
Your willingness to read through everything shows that you care about how to handle the stress of parenting in healthy ways.
Remember to give yourself and your kids lots of grace.
You may not cherish every moment with your children, but at least now you have some tools to better handle the chaos and craziness.
Lots of love to each of you!