A Call To Persevere In Parenting When You Feel Like Quitting
In our society today, it is possible to faithfully discipline your children in love.
The media may shout other things and try to get you to be overindulgent or shirk your responsibilities, but I’m here to tell you that you can do this Mama!
I want to share with you 5 reasons to persevere in your parenting and not give in when you start to grow weary with discipline. There is a high calling over your life to raise your kids in today’s world. It’s not something to take lightly. Your kids are counting on you!
Go make some iced coffee or your favorite beverage and hunker down somewhere, so that you can focus. It’s time to learn, and be challenged and encouraged as moms.
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Why should you faithfully discipline your children?
To start, let’s differentiate between discipline and punishment. Discipline means to train and when done correctly, teaches children how to manage their behavior, control their emotions, etc.
When you are disciplining your children you are training them. It also implies that it is a process, not something that yields immediate results. When you discipline your children, there is hope that this time of training will yield positive results in their lives.
Punishment is more about doling out a penalty for a child’s actions, and has more of a negative connotation. “You’re being punished because of WHAT YOU DID!” (not that any of us have ever yelled at our children or been vindictive since we are perfect, LOL!)
In this blog post, I’m talking about the benefits of faithfully disciplining your children, not punishing them.
As a mom myself, one of the things that plays on repeat in my conversations with Addie is how much I love her.
This even surfaces in discipline conversations, because I want her to know why she is being disciplined. And it’s important to communicate love to your kids no matter the situation. Addie needs to know that the foundational reason for everything we do for her, including discipline, is love.
Here’s an example:
Me: “Addie, you’re having a consequence right now because you lied. I care about you and love you very much and do not want you to make this choice again.”
Addie: “You care about me and are sending me to my room?” (frustrated face)
Me: “I love you enough to tell you when you’re wrong. I do not appreciate that you lied to me, and Daddy and I do not want your heart to choose lying. It doesn’t honor us and it does not honor the Lord.”
Addie: “I’m sorry that I lied. Can I just say sorry and be done?”
Me: “I appreciate the apology, but you need a consequence. It’s important that you know that lying is wrong and there are consequences for choosing to be dishonest. Hopefully, with God’s help, you won’t do it again. I love you.”
Addie: “I love you too Mommy.”
Obviously not all conversations go like this. Sometimes I’m super frustrated and yell, “Go to your room. I’m DONE!”
When it happens like that, I have to do some apologizing.
The important takeaway from this is that when we choose to discipline our children, giving them boundaries for what is right and wrong, it communicates love to their hearts and minds.
You may not think your child knows it due to their screaming and crazy fits, but trust me, your willingness to lay down the law and follow through on consequences is saying “I love you.”
When I taught kindergarten, the students who said, “I love you Mrs. Johnson” the most were usually the ones that were sitting in time out or having multiple discipline conversations with me throughout the day.
Faithfully discipline your children. It is one of the most loving things you can do as a parent.
Disciplining your children has its roots in Scripture, believe it or not.
I’m not here to talk about the varying methods of discipline. I’m not about to subject myself to all the internet trolls and their opinions. Heck no!
I want to share more about the heart behind discipline.
Hebrews has a wonderful passage about discipline, and the author relates it to our relationship with God, as His children.
Let’s look at Hebrews 12:10-12– “For they (our earthly fathers) disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He (God) disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
This is one of my favorite passages on discipline in the Bible. I appreciate the analogy of the discipline we receive from our fathers on earth vs the discipline we receive from the Lord.
When I discipline Addie and put boundaries in her life, showing her there are consequences for her choices (both good and bad), I believe wholeheartedly that it’s for her good. I trust that God will use these moments in her life, even the not so fun ones, to point her to Jesus. He is her greatest hope for redemption and true change.
If you’re a parent who loves the Lord and desires to persevere in disciplining your children, keep it up! You are doing good things for your kids!
Even if you don’t view the world through a lens of faith, consistently disciplining your kids is the right way to go. Don’t lose heart!
How does consistent discipline benefit my child?
Helps Them Grow
Do you know that when you give your kids boundaries and consequences, you are helping them grow and develop in healthy ways?
According to verywell family, consistent discipline in a child’s life has many benefits. These benefits include helping kids manage anxiety, encouraging good choices, teaching kids to manage their emotions, as well as keeping them safe.
Believe it or not, kids need and want boundaries. It helps them feel safe and know the expectations.
Kids who have parents that overindulge them oftentimes experience anxiety and unsettling feelings because they don’t know what to expect.
When you lay down the law and enforce the boundaries, you are showing your children that they can trust you. You are a safe place to land.
Whether they are making good choices or sad choices, they know the boundaries and what happens when they are crossed.
Help your kids grow and develop in healthy ways by being faithful to discipline them consistently!
Future in Mind
As moms, we have many overwhelming moments in our day.
It would be nice to have a remote so we could fast forward through all the obnoxious and frustrating parts and just go to nap time, so we can quietly read a magazine and sip iced coffee.
Reality check. That almost never happens!
In parenting, we need to keep the future in mind when we are disciplining our kids.
Don’t get stuck on, “I can’t handle one more tantrum. He can have WHATEVER he wants so he’ll stop screaming and crying!”
Giving in may keep the crying at bay for that afternoon, but what will happen the next time he doesn’t get what he wants?
Brace yourself. More tantrums are coming.
What do you mean by keeping the future in mind? My kid is only 3!
When you keep the future in mind, you think more about who you want your child to become.
Do you want to raise a selfish, entitled brat who whines and cries to get what he wants? It may be permissible in your home when he’s 3, but what will it look like when he’s 9 and still throwing tantrums? That looks embarrassing and unpleasant in my mind.
We need to look at our kids and think about the character qualities we want to see develop in their lives. What kind of adults do we want to send off into the world?
When I think about Addie and who I want her to become, I think of these qualities:
If I want to see these character traits develop in her, indulging her 24/7 and never saying no is not the right path to get her there. Fail!
Maybe you’ve never thought about your child in the future, because right now he’s a toddler. I get it.
Take some time with your spouse to write out good character qualities that you want to see develop in your child.
When you have a tangible list, it’s something you can pray about and work towards as you parent.
These kinds of character traits do not develop overnight! But over time, with consistent discipline, prayer, and intentional conversations, you may reap the fruits of your labor and see these beautiful qualities develop in your child.
Faithful, consistent discipline is a wonderful thing!
It’s Your Job
One of the last reasons to faithfully discipline your children is because it’s your job.
It is not the school’s job, or the grandparent’s job or a coach’s job. You are primarily responsible for your child, and at the end of the day, the buck stops with you.
This is not a burden, it’s a blessing.
God has blessed you with the ability to raise a child or multiple children. There are many women who would love to be in your shoes and raise kids, but for whatever reason, it did not happen for them.
You, my friend, have been given the precious gift of motherhood.
If disciplining your kids stresses you out because you had awful experiences as a child, that is understandable. I am so sorry for those hurts.
But even still, do better than your parents did and do right by your children now.
It’s not your children’s fault you had a horrible upbringing.
Don’t let the fear of becoming like your parents keep you from consistently and faithfully disciplining your kids.
They are counting on you!
And remember, if you’re not raising them and giving them boundaries, then someone else will…and you don’t want that someone else to be our current culture or media influences. No way!
Take some parenting classes, join a moms group, or read some helpful parenting books.
There are tons of resources out there for moms. I will link some below!
What are some helpful parenting books on discipline?
Here are a handful of amazing books on discipline! If you’re curious and want some guidance, snag one right now!
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch
I Can’t Believe You Just Said That! by Ginger Hubbard
Grace Based Discipline by Karis Kimmel Murray
1-2-3 MAGIC by Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
The New DARE to DISCIPLINE by Dr. James Dobson
Click on any of the above images if you want to purchase a book!
Let’s Wrap Things Up!
Thanks for hanging with me through the entire post! I’m proud of you!
You really care about faithfully disciplining your children. That’s a BIG deal.
Before you go, let me leave you with some encouragement.
There are no perfect moms out there. They don’t exist.
Your job is to do right by your children and parent them in a way that’s best suited to their needs.
There will be hard days when you fail. There will be hard days when they fail.
But there will also be lots of victories along the way!
You can persevere when it comes to consistent discipline with your kids. I believe in you!
Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress!
Progress in parenting is definitely worth celebrating.
Lots of love to each of you,
Comment below with your preferred methods of discipline or how you keep going when it gets really tough. I’d love to hear from you!
Cover Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels